Clearly I can’t keep promises. “Way” back in 2018, I promised that I would put out a post every week. That promise, that initiative soon died after making that declaration, but I’ll explain why in a sec.
I have more time now (I’ll explain what I mean in later posts) and randomly thought about my blog. Well, it wasn’t random. I was applying for a side gig and they asked for my site and I directed them to this one…the dead one…oops.
I love writing about my life and experiences and totally forgot about that. We live in a social media driven society, which makes it difficult for little minions like myself to have blogs or platforms. I’ve been playing the dangerous comparison game and have felt so defeated…snap out of it girl, that’s stupid!
Anywho, I’m back at it and am really excited about the content that I’ll be putting out in the coming weeks. Stay tuned for some witty banter, some fun experiences and more!
So why was I gone for so long (because I know you’re all dyingggg to know)??
I don’t experience the seasonal disorder thing like a lot of folks do – at least I don’t think I do. But, the late-summer to winter time is an extremely crappy time for me and has been for the past decade or so.
It started with my mom telling me she had cancer. This happened Fall 2006, right before Thanksgiving. By this point, she’d already had surgery and everyone knew about it except for me. I’m sure I’ve written about this in the past, so I’ll spare details. Needless to say, I was sad, angry and confused because I wanted to help, nay FIX things, but couldn’t. I felt useless…
It sucks when someone you love has to deal with a disease that slowly takes away who they are, their humanity – physically and emotionally. And as someone on the sidelines, it can be upsetting not knowing how to make them feel better or get better. Ughh…
Fast forward a few years and I’m in my apartment back on the east coast. August of 2011, my computer got stolen, along with some other things. At the time, the most expensive thing in that apartment was my computer (brand new Mac). I’d only had it for maybe a few weeks when someone decided to come into my space and take it. I was devastated. I’d worked hard to trek to another state to get it (tax-free) and pay for that $1000 computer myself.
I wasn’t the only one whose apartment got hit up that year and apparently it was a yearly thing that happened in that area. That was just the start of you-know-what hitting the fan. In addition to my computer getting stolen, I had dozens of packages taken; my locks decided to stop working and I had to sleep with the door open to my apartment for a night; car fire right outside of my apartment window…hunty, it was a mess. I was in that apartment for about 2 or so years and couldn’t wait to get out of it.
After the final lease on my apartment ran out, I moved back home. In the midst of this, I was still commuting to work in another state and trying to maintain a ______ship with this stupid dude I was seeing at the time. That added fuel to the fire because we ended up breaking things off that fall/winter and my mother’s health really started to decline. I realized that most of the relationships that I was in would end in the fall/winter time. What in the world dude?!
So, about 13 years after the first tragic thing, I realized that while fall is my favorite time for fashion, it’s the darkest time for me. Who knew that trauma could sneak up on you and cause such emotional damage, eh? So this year, I’m dedicated to getting my mind right and getting back on track with my goals – first one is to take better care of myself.
I’ve had some great ups and really big downs in the past few years, but I’m determined to get ahead of that. That’s a part of life right? It’s not always going to be dandelions and butterflies – there has to be a balance somewhere.
So, my comrades, if you’re up for the ride, then join me! I’ll be telling you about some wild experiences I’ve had in the past years that will hopefully inspire, encourage and even make you laugh a bit. I’m not going to set a goal of frequency with the blog because I already know that it’ll stress me out. But because I have this new-found excitement, I don’t think I’ll let it slip again…hopefully.
Thanks for sticking with me.