This quote resonates so much with me right now…
As 30 rapidly approaches, I realize that I’m going to experience changes, especially physically. We know that I’ve been quite vigilante in my health and fitness game recently; and I try to eat as healthy and be as active as I possibly can. There have definitely been times when I’ve slipped up or had a bad day (maybe even a few bad weeks), but overall, I try to be as consistent as I can.
Lately, I’ve been having feelings of self-doubt, failure, and rejection. Why? Because my tummy isn’t as flat as “hers” or I can’t do as many squats as “him”. Since becoming a part of the fitness world (outside of organized sports), I can now empathize with the folks who see fit gods and goddesses and feel “less than”.
I’ve never been in this boat before, so needless to say, homegirl wasn’t liking it one bit! I never really cared about poundage before either. But, to say that the 10 pound weight gain didn’t get to me would be a bold faced lie. I’m not as thin as I was in school when I was working out, doing drills for hours on end 5-6 days a week. I found myself looking at all these fitness chicks (even ones in my own community) feeling defeated because they looked so good (shout out to all those gals doing their thang!)!
I was disappointed and felt like a failure. I know this happens from time to time with different aspects of our lives, but it was annoying. I don’t like feeling sorry for myself or feeling defeated. Was I not working hard enough? Was I not focusing on my eating habits enough?
No Dee. You’re about to enter the 3rd decade of your life and your body is going to change. You’re not going to look or even FEEL the same way you did when you were 19, 20, 21 years old. You may also have to change some things from time to time to accommodate the types of changes you’d like to see. And that 10-pound weight gain? Girlllll….you lift weights (including your body weight) on a regular basis! What do you think is going to happen?! Sounds silly, but these are literally the conversations I have to have with myself in order to put things into perspective.
Physically, I’m more…errrr….womanly. I’ve always had curves, but things change and look different as one gets older.
I don’t mean to make this whole thing sound like I’m going through menopause or something. However, when you’re used to looking one way and your body decides to change up on you, you start to get a little concerned.
Even though I have these doubts sometimes and get into a habit of comparing myself to others, I realize that there are positive outcomes to my progress so far! I’m more toned and MUCH stronger than I was 10 years ago. To be able to do 10-15 tricep pushups in a row without dying is a huge milestone for me.
So what’s next? How do we get out of this funk and get back to having fun? Honestly? A little dose of reality helps.
Realizing that things may not be the same is the first step to not trying to fix everything at once. Doing that is overwhelming and hella exhausting.
But my dear friends, all is not lost! As I stated before, it’s about putting the work in and being consistent – an important life lesson to learn.